i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
