Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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