She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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