Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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