He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
