Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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(505): View more from New Mexico

And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

high in an attic. pig roast in 10.

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(702): View more from Nevada

whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.

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(212): View more from New York

you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms

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