Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop. http://tfl.nu/0o9n
  Replies (19) Good night (7154) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME http://tfl.nu/92a7
  Replies (43) Good night (762) Bad night (4301)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse http://tfl.nu/h4gb
  Replies (37) Good night (3236) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing? http://tfl.nu/8p36
  Replies (26) Good night (1030) Bad night (3576)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better. http://tfl.nu/xn35
  Replies (45) Good night (4401) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance http://tfl.nu/8uw4
  Replies (38) Good night (2023) Bad night (9982)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips. http://tfl.nu/myh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2717) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment. http://tfl.nu/fwul
  Replies (12) Good night (2589) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision http://tfl.nu/3v04
  Replies (24) Good night (1406) Bad night (2570)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty. http://tfl.nu/gbls
  Replies (5) Good night (2339) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West. http://tfl.nu/935n
  Replies (6) Good night (1188) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1278) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I need a hug and tequila

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is why we need to live in the same city again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I need a hug and tequila (615): I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now (865): This is why we need to live in the same city again http://tfl.nu/bxgt
  Replies (1) Good night (975) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick. http://tfl.nu/mpmj
  Replies (9) Good night (670) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/cd83
  Replies (0) Good night (719) Bad night (218)

Randomize