Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
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high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms