whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.