I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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