When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
