Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
