Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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