She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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