a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
