Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
