somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
