seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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