Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
