69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
