Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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