speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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