My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
