is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
