I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
