Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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