Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
