She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
