white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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