ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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