I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
