just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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