Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
