walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
