I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize