My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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