We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
