He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
