let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
