my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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