Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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