I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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