Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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