I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
