Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
