this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
