that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
