do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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