you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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