This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
