I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
