she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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