At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
