Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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