Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
