a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
