To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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