He had one of those small greek statue penises
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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