some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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