New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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