I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My dick has a subreddit
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
