Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
