That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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