It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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