He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You made out with two different species that night
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
