She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize