Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
