Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
