He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize