Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
