Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
